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Short Stories for Impatient People

by Hateful Julie

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1.
40 Miles 00:51
lyrics
40 Miles - Hateful Julie I have to drive to work I have to drive home 40 miles back and forth I've forgotten what it's like to roam All I see are flames All there is is protocol It's going way too fast for me to see the end was not the goal And what is old, what is new, what is a word they call you? Here I sit, here I stand, congratulations to be had for no one I have to drive to work www.captfakehead.com
2.
Exploding Rubik's Cube Person 00:34
lyrics
Exploding Rubik's Cube Person - Hateful Julie I can't believe the record was broken apart like a melon Like his head x 2 Exploding Rubik's cube person! Like his head x 2 www.captfakehead.com
3.
Because I'm Dean Fuckin' Cain! 01:02
lyrics
Because I'm Dean Fuckin' Cain! - Hateful Julie I was Superman and I didn't make it lame I made out with Teri Hatcher a.k.a Lois Lane I told you, after Jack, believe it or not! I met Brenda in France. She was such a fake sexpot Because I'm Dean fuckin' Cain! x 3 Fuckin' Dean. Fuckin' Cain. I was Superman and I didn't make it lame www.captfakehead.com
4.
The Fashionista 01:32
lyrics
The Fashionista - Hateful Julie Go. "And today", she exclaimed "you assholes, I've got me some denim! Try and stop me from taking what I want from this world. Because today", she exclaimed "you assholes, I've got me some venom! Try and stop me from taking what I want from this world. Because today, you assholes", she exclaimed "I've got me some denim!" www.captfakehead.com
5.
Jen Sleeps 00:35
lyrics
Jen Sleeps - Hateful Julie Hey, Jen! Don't get too discouraged when the robots seem like they're just so unstoppable Just remind yourself that everything has an off switch even them. They don't sleep, they power down But unlike rust, Jen sleeps No clicks, whirs or beeps, Jen sleeps Unlike those creeps, Jen sleeps You fuckers, Jen sleeps! www.captfakehead.com
6.
I Am A Chaos Synapse 00:43
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I Am A Chaos Synapse - Hateful Julie I am a random thought! I am an after taste! I am no solution! I am an empty crate signed, sealed, delivered to a place that no one knows of I am a symbol of war, noted by the blackest of doves that flies with a gnarled branch in its angry little beak Its seeds they drop from the fruit the branch does bear Spreading weeds, and ferns, and brambles With no reason Just to make you question, to make you think I am a chaos synapse! www.captfakehead.com
7.
Jen Needs Her Teeth 01:03
lyrics
Jen Needs Her Teeth - Hateful Julie Jen's not mad She told me many times I said sorry too many times and now I'm sad because Jen's not mad Jen needs her teeth They came in the mail I found the package's tail sticking out from beneath the door mat So, she gets another song because I did it all wrong Jen needs her teeth x 2 www.captfakehead.com
8.
Rogue and Peasant Slave 01:38
lyrics
Rogue and Peasant Slave - Hateful Julie Oh! (Intermission) www.captfakehead.com
9.
This Is The Scratch Track 01:24
lyrics
This Is The Scratch Track - Hateful Julie You thought there'd be lyrics, didn't you? Who the hell am I talking to? (Hi, Scott!) This still is the scratch track and now we're right back... www.captfakehead.com
10.
What I Haven't Done 00:57
lyrics
What I Haven't Done - Hateful Julie It's always about what I haven't done (and I don't know what) and all the other things Let me grab the sun with my bare hands As it darkens these lands to be forsaken. Grand is the gesture that reflects on no man's ears It's always about what I haven't done x 2 www.captfakehead.com
11.
Heaven Boy's Lament 01:18
lyrics
Heaven Boy's Lament - Hateful Julie It was Saturday night like most other nights in High School Land I kicked up my board and cruised through the suburbs without a plan or a care in the world And then there's this girl lookin' like a hundred grand! She says, "Man, I could go for a ride on a skateboard from Hell!" She was my Hell-Girl, what good is Heaven? Without my Hell-Girl - 3,4,5,6,7 I'm counting the eternities until I see my Hell-Girl again Because I fucked up. I was too good. www.captfakehead.com
12.
The Eternal Death of Dusty 00:40
lyrics
The Eternal Death of Dusty - Hateful Julie Thirty years of free fall and he's finally hittin' the ground Cursed with light as a feather He screamed of boredom without a sound Inches above, we'd watch some days at the eternal death of Dusty www.captfakehead.com
13.
Abandon All Hope 01:26
lyrics
Abandon All Hope - Hateful Julie Abandon all hope and take a deep breath of the smoke Because I don't know if you care And I don't know if you think you know where you're cookin' now I'm surrounded by idiots, sycophants, And all the awful of the 'know-nothing' stupid pants x2 www.captfakehead.com
14.
My Broken Tooth 02:43
lyrics
My Broken Tooth - Hateful Julie It's the second one I feel no pain...yet But once again I feel the hole in my mouth bearing down on me I'm getting old I'm getting so old I wonder if I'll be alone...at the end And if I am I hope like my broken tooth there'll be no pain...yet www.captfakehead.com
15.
Gogh Gogh Boots (Bonus Track) 00:48
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Gogh Gogh Boots - Hateful Julie "God protects people in little homes." It's just a painting It's just the blank hopelessness of it all Somebody follow the bouncing ball It's not reading anything at all Need to close this caption before we lose all control www.captfakehead.com

about

14 songs (and one bonus track!) so short and sickly sweet, you already have a cavity from it, and have forgotten all about it ... along with the songs.

Hateful Julie is the solo project from C. Haun of Girlband, My Bible Company, and Busrider. To learn more, visit: www.captfakehead.com

credits

released October 16, 2017

All songs written & recorded by Cary Haun
Briercrest Records - 003
Thanks to Scotty

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all rights reserved

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Hateful Julie

Solo project from C. Haun of Girlband, My Bible Company, and Busrider.

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